Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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