You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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