i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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