that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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