whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
