I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
