if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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