Me too!
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize