I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
