Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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