So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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