she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I understand Curling. That high.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
