this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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