I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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