The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
