you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
