I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
