party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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