i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
