I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
