Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Randomize
