Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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