I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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