He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
