i was rollin on her like bob the builder
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize