we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
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I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
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We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize