I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nutella sex= disaster
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize