Screwed.edu
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
is that a dick in a sweater?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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