I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
