She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
