covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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