how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I've blown a few things in my day
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
