and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
