The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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