Just fell off a train. Bad.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
