I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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