i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
