i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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