I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
