Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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