I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
