I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
even my farts smell like vagina
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Randomize
