who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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