just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
