You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
