i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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