yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
