It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
