I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
