Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
We have so much sex to catch up on
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.