just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize