I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
