feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
