whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
The air taste purple.
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