if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
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Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
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So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls