i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.