Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
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